Prism
by M. Mondsichel
Summary: He should've done a lot of things, maybe then he could have spared her from the heartache. But that was then and this is now. How was he supposed to comfort the girl he had always loved? The girl who was currently his best friend's girlfriend. Cheater!Kuroo x Reader x Kenma


**Notes:** I was feeling angsty and decided to write a Cheater!Kuroo x Reader x Kenma fic. I don't usually write self inserts/OCs but there's no female Nekoma manager to ship our favorite cats with. I debated with myself if I should post this or not because I'd been writing a multi-chaptered fic slightly similar to this w/ the same people to boot. I'm also not entirely sure if I should leave this as it is or write another chapter featuring the confrontation with Kuroo.

 **Disclaimer:** Though I love Haikyuu! and have a few of their official merchandise, all rights belong to the great Furudate sensei. I make no profit out of this.

 **Prism**

 **Written by:** M. Mondsichel

 **ハイキュー**

Everybody knew that Kenma liked to keep to himself save from the few and special moments he shared with his volleyball teammates. He didn't like interacting with others and he didn't like to stand out.

What everybody didn't know was that he fancied someone. It was a safely guarded secret. She was the first female in Nekoma to ever approach him and he's been in love with her since.

The girl was oblivious to this though, even as they had both gotten extremely close over the first few months of school. She was probably his closest, and only female, friend aside from Kuroo.

Kenma had no intention of ever confessing, scared that things would get awkward and he'd lose her in the process. She was a great person who always smiled and laughed at the smallest of things. But most of all, the thing he loved so much about her, was her sincerity. The girl always noticed minute details, things that people would normally overlook, and it always surprised him when she pointed those out.

The girl was approachable so it was only natural that other people would have fallen in love with her as well. For a reason nobody knew, she would always reject any who tried to confess. He never asked why and was content with things being the way they were.

Call him a coward but, he wasn't ready to have his heart broken just yet. So when Kuroo, during his last year in Nekoma, of all people, finally decided to make a move on her, all he could do was watch in silence and play the friend card.

Somehow, even if it was painful, he rooted for his best friend. Kuroo was a good person, he was playful and a little bit rough around the edges, but if they ever dated, at least he would be able to stand and stay close to her. It was both a selfish and selfless thing, but as long as she was still around, he'd be fine with that. Kuroo would treat her well.

When he found out that Kuroo confessed, he felt jealousy for the first time in his life but kept it well hidden because he knew he had no right to be. Nevertheless he pushed for their relationship to blossom. It took a while before she had accepted, and he allowed his heart to break only a tiny bit because he knew that it was for the best. He wished them well despite everything and would even give them relationship advice from time to time.

Kuroo's birthday was coming up, and though he knew that the couple didn't see each other often, him being in college and her still with him in high school, Kenma was positive that the girl, whom he had secretly loved all these years, was planning something. He wasn't even at all shocked when she mentioned that she was planning to surprise him on the day itself. Though it did throw him a bit off-kilter when she jokingly said that she was finally ready to lose her chastity in celebration.

Kenma knew about them being abstinent as Kuroo had sometimes complained that the anticipation had been killing him more times than he could count. Kuroo had brazenly told him all that he had intended to do with her whenever she was ready give in. Kenma tried to tune him out, partially glad that Kuroo only shared this with him and partly annoyed that he had to hear it in the first place. Even just the slightest mention of the topic was discomforting and he especially didn't want to hear it from her.

It's not as if Kenma was an innocent person per se, he was still a guy after all and had plenty of eroge, safely tucked away from prying eyes, in his closet, but still, he never wanted to imagine them doing the deed. It was all too much. When his best friend had told him that she had wanted to wait before doing it, he felt relief. But now, seeing her blushing face as he told him all about what she had planned, even if it wasn't anything too explicit, Kenma felt another pang of jealousy consume him.

His thoughts, on the time that she was still single, consumed him. If he had said anything, if he only had the courage to tell her what he felt, maybe it would have been him she would have given her whole self to. He knew it was a joke, but jokes were half meant. But it was too late to cry over spilled milk, that and Kuroo's birthday was fast approaching.

Try as he might to remove impure thoughts about his best friend and the girl he liked having sex, he couldn't. There had been plenty of nights wherein he fantasized about her. There had been plenty of mornings where he had to take a cold shower just to rid himself of a wet dream that included her. Though he longed for her, all he could do was to relieve himself of his love, and lust, by himself. Imagining her sweet voice echo his name as he pumped his member to a frenzy.

So when November 17 came, Kenma had undoubtedly been on edge. As much as he loved his best friend, he was the kind of person who would kiss and tell. After all, he unfortunately knew all about Kuroo's little flings with their schoolmates way before he got together with his crush. He never doubted for a second that the former Nekoma men's volleyball captain would call to tell him all about it. The poor guy had been repressed for quite a while now, probably a little over a year if he had counted correctly.

It was already past 10 pm. Waiting for his cellphone to light up, He suddenly felt stupid so he decided to clear his mind by buying a few things at the convenience store nearby.

While passing through the small park in their neighborhood, he saw a familiar figure sitting all alone on one of the swings. He knew immediately who it was and rushed towards her.

 _Why was she here and not over at Kuroo's apartment?_

He approached, fully intent on asking her.

He was so very near her, he spoke her name in hopes that she would look up but she didn't. Instead, he saw her body stiffen and her shoulders tremble. Confusion marred his usually passive face but since she didn't speak, he decided to sit on the empty swing right beside hers.

It was a bit chilly outside, even more so than usual, and her shivering had yet to stop so Kenma stood up and quickly removed his wooly scarf just so that he could wrap it around her neck. The poor girl didn't even have gloves or a muffler on. But as he was doing so, she had suddenly looked up at him with her tear stained face. Even when she was sad and distraught, she still managed to take his breath away. She was still beautiful beyond words.

"Kenma..." She was in pain, and in one bold move that he didn't think he had it in him, Kenma wrapped his arms around her tiny frame and had let her bury her face on his chest.

"Yoshyosh... What's wrong?" He knew that it had something to do with Kuroo, but he needed to know the specifics.

The poor girl desperately clung to his chest and finally let it all out. It took him almost half an hour of consoling before her cries had reduced to quiet sobs and he had not let her go even once. In fact, his hold on her even tightened. It was the only thing he could do. She didn't know it, but her pain was his as well.

When she had settled down, Kenma grabbed her hand. He had never touched her before, not if the way he gently touched her cheek while she slept in the classroom had counted. Her hand was so soft against his slightly larger, but definitely more calloused, hand but it was getting really late and undoubtedly really cold. It was dangerous to stay outside at this time of night.

His parents were away visiting his grandparents and he was left alone, so he thought it would be better to bring her home. He knew that she lived in the other side of town.

Once he had brought her safely inside, he had urged her to sit on the sofa while he made them something warm to drink. They both had a sweet tooth so he opted on making hot chocolate.

What could his best friend have possibly done? From the looks of it, it had been bad, but it could not have been that bad.

"Here, drink this." He handed her a mug, but when she didn't move, he settled on simply placing the beverage on top of the coffee table. They sat there in silence before he finally strengthened his resolve to ask. But before he could do so, she spoke first.

"He cheated on me."

It really was that bad.

Unprepared for such an ugly news, he was dumbfounded. Kuroo wouldn't have. He couldn't possibly have. Right? He gaped at her, not even bothering to consider how stupid he might have looked. Kuroo was flirty but was practically harmless. He probably heard her wrong.

She took a deep breath and looked at him. More tears threatening to fall from her beautiful eyes.

"I told him that I would spend the 18th with him instead of today because I was busy with part time work. And, as you know, that was a lie. I wanted to surprise him by arriving in his apartment with his favorite food."

She then smiled bitterly and Kenma wanted so badly to hug her again.

"I knew where the key was so I didn't bother to ring the bell. But as it turns out, the joke was on me. I was the one who got surprised instead. Tetsu... he... he was lying on the bed, with a naked girl riding him. They didn't see me nor hear me judging by the way they were both moaning and grunting... and... I... just left. I dropped everything and ran... and somehow ended up in your neighborhood."

The last few words were said in a whisper as she let the tears finally fall.

Kenma didn't think it was possible, but he felt so many emotions that it was his turn to shake.

He was angry. Really, deliriously, angry. He felt rage bubbling up inside him. He never knew that he could get mad at Kuroo this much. For hurting her even when he explicitly told him never to do so. He also felt angry at himself, for letting it happen. He knew that the former captain could be fickle, he knew that all those months of abstinence had made the guy antsy but he thought he knew better. He should have manned up and never let anyone take her.

If it had been him, he would have waited. Waited til she was ready because he knew that the girl in front of him was worth everything. He knew, from the moment she approached him all those years ago with a bashful smile on her face, that he would do anything for her.

He wanted to leave and beat the shit out of the guy he used to proudly call his best friend. But he also wanted to hide her from the rest of the world in hopes of protecting her from the cruel monsters that inhabited said planet.

His vision was getting dark, he felt cold and fiery at the same time. He tried his best to control his temper, he didn't want to scare her, he didn't want her to see him like this. Didn't anyone ever tell you that it was the quiet ones that they should be afraid of?

She immediately stopped crying when she felt the room grow colder than normal. She watched as Kenma's face darkened but instead of getting scared she felt an emotion, she had thought she had locked away, resurface.

Even when Kenma's knuckles were turning white from the fist he was making, she only thought of one word.

 _Beautiful._

It wasn't an adjective a person would normally describe a boy. But Kenma had always been beautiful and handsome to her. She never told anyone but she always had a small crush on him. At first she simply wanted to become friends with the quiet boy who never seemed to say much and was usually always alone, but after spending so much time with him, she couldn't help herself.

She had lost all hope when Kuroo Tetsuro had confessed to her, and even more so when Kenma started to root for them. She didn't think she was good enough for him and the fact that he had set her up plenty of times with Tetsuro made her think that he never really looked her way at all. She wanted to flatly reject the masculine guy but since he was like a brother to Kenma, she decided to give it a bit of time, hoping to let the other man down gently.

She thought that if she rejected Kuroo outright, then Kenma wouldn't like it. She feared that Kuroo would force some kind of distance between them. The tall middle blocker had persisted for months, and Kenma, her first love Kenma, not only hit but hammered the nail on the coffin by saying that he would be really happy if she would give Kuroo a chance.

Kuroo was too amorous at first, but he was sweet and thoughtful. He liked to tease her as well, so in time she slowly fell for him. Believing that the setter would never love her the same way she loved him, she locked her emotions away and set it aside.

And yet, seeing him like this made her wanton in desire. The feelings she had ignored for so long bounced back in full force. It was wrong and she couldn't help but feel disgusted with herself.

She shook her head and mentally reprimanded herself. She hesitated for a moment but eventually, gently, touched his face.

"Kenma?" Her voice was really soft, but enough to snap him out of his thoughts.

Her nose was red and her eyes were puffy from crying. She had a worried look on her face which made him want to scold himself. He should be worrying about her and not the other way around.

Kenma was like a dam waiting to burst, and having her touch him and look at him with her steady eyes resulted in him losing self control. He took the hand that was touching him gently and kissed her palm, not once removing eye contact. He heard her gasp but when she didn't snatch her hand away, he felt braver.

He leaned down and kissed her.

All hesitation flew out the window as he felt her eyelids close and lashes brush against his cheek. He let his free hand wrap around her waist as he pulled her closer. The action made her gasp again and he took this chance to explore her mouth with his tongue. She tasted as sweet as he had always imagined.

His kiss was a bit clumsy, he had never kissed anyone before. But when her tiny tongue clashed against his in a shy yet passionate battle, all his self restraint had almost come undone. 3 whole years of suppressing his feelings had been let loose. He gently pushed her on the sofa.

That was when he felt it. Her tiny hands trying to push him away as a muffled 'wait' echoed throughout the room.

He instantly reverted back into his normal self and got off on top of her. They were both as red as tomatoes. Her hair was disheveled and they were both panting heavily.

Kenma cursed. He wanted to punch himself for taking advantage of her vulnerability. Kenma rarely ever lost his cool.

"Sorry." He mumbled and put a hand on his face in shame.

Tiny hands cupped his face and turned it so that he was facing her.

"Kenma." But he couldn't face her just yet, embarassed of what he did but too cowardly to run.

"Kenma, please..." She said his name with more conviction. "Look at me." He didn't have the heart to refuse such a simple request.

Kenma removed his hand away to stare at her. She had a smile on her face, even if it was tinged with sadness.

"Why?" She asked timidly. He somehow knew that that question was bound to be asked. He wanted to make up an excuse, hoping that he could spare his heart from rejection, but her eyes that bore into his made him tell her everything.

He knew that it was the wrong time, no- it was the worst time to confess but he couldn't hold it in any longer.

He admitted. He admitted everything. That he had loved her for a very long time, and that he felt that she was too good for him. He even spoke about his insecurities while she sat there quietly and listened to him in spite of her broken heart. It was the most he had ever spoken.

When he was finished, he felt her take his hand in hers.

"I'm so happy..." She said breathlessly. And even if she had tears in her eyes it really did seem like she was, in fact, as happy as she claimed to be. Kenma didn't understand it at first and looked at her with a puzzled expression.

Then it was her turn to say her side of the story. She told him about how she felt when he tried to play matchmaker and that she was certain that he could never learn to love her. Kenma wanted to kick himself at his stupidity.

Their feelings had been mutual all along. She had loved him, HIM, and yet he pushed her away, right into the arms of another man. He had wronged and hurt her. He really, truly, didn't deserve her.

Once she had said her part, Kenma wanted to embrace her all over again.

"We're both idiots..." She said and he agreed. He wholeheartedly agreed.

They were. They really were.

He wanted more than to just hug her now, he wanted to kiss her again. And he would have if not for her hand that stopped him.

"I really mean everything that I've said." He didn't need to be a genius to know that a 'but' was coming.

"But, not this way." He knew she was right so he didn't say anything. Technically, she had not broken it off with Kuroo so being together with her like this was wrong.

"It's unfair to both you and him." If he were to be honest, he didn't want Kuroo anywhere near her. She was an angel to even think that way even after having caught him cheating.

"I have to properly end things and I don't want you to think that I'm just using you either." she played with his fingers. He understood. It would look bad if they started to date right off the bat.

"I know I'm being selfish, and I know that I really don't deserve you, but could you... wait for a bit?" He nodded. What was another month or two?

Putting a label on their relationship could wait.

She held a hand to her mouth to stifle a yawn. It was way past midnight and she had been crying. He knew she was tired but it was too dangerous for her to return to her house, he also didn't want her to leave just yet.

"It's really late. Why don't you sleep in my room?" He asked and she blushed. The girl was just too innocent and adorable. She would really be the death of him.

"No, It's okay. I couldn't possibly intrude." She waved her hands dismissively in front of her.

"I insist. I'll sleep here instead." Kenma stood up, intent on leading her to his bedroom but she shook her head.

"You take the bed, I'll stay here." She was being stubborn, but it wasn't surprising. Sharing a bed showed a level of intimacy. He knew she had slept over Kuroo's even if they didn't do anything but make out, and maybe getting a bit handsy.

Being reminded of his best friend touching her had only irritated him and she probably noticed the change in his expression.

"It's not right for me to take the bed while you sleep here."

Kenma sighed.

"If you're so worried about me, why don't we share my bed instead? I promise not to do anything."

The girl blushed even harder but her reply threw him off balance.

"Okay."

They had their backs turned against each other and Kenma knew at once that she was having difficulty falling asleep. Her breathing was uneven and he understood why. He was a bundle of nerves as well. She turned to face his back. His bed was a bit small so it was easy to feel her every move.

"Are you asleep?" She asked which prompted him to turn and face her as well.

She looked beautiful with only the moonlight, streaming from his bedroom window, illuminating her features.

They both stared at each other for a few minutes before Kenma spoke.

"Can I... Can I hug you?" Kenma was being extremely daring but he knew that come morning, it would take some time before he had this chance again.

She nodded albeit shyly.

It didn't take too long before she was finally off to dream world. The girl he had loved for so long nestled in his arms. Kenma followed suit but not before making a mental note to give Kuroo a piece of his mind the next time he saw him.

 **おわり**


End file.
